Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
