I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize