Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
