we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
