the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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