it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize