I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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