i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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