When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
