the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
