I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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