You just made me feel so damn special
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I love having hate sex.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
