i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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