she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
