is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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