apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
