WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
