Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
