tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize