flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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