it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
