yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she smelled like a LAN party
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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