I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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