Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
