At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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