If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
