I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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