i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
