Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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