You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Is it because I queefed?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He shit in the fireplace
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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