Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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