She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
