It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
