I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
