Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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