I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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