I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
