can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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