Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize