from now on my penis is your penis
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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