I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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