Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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