Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
