wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
