so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
