She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
