id be glad to
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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