that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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