why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
