We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
