I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
