She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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