if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
