At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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