i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
