when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
