fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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