Where is the hickey?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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