Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the day after is always just damage control
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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