It's Friday. Sex?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
