so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have fence marks all over my body
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
tell me about the eggs
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
