I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
