I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
