My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
